Holding a Pistole to Passengers’ Heads

Written by Becky Akers on Thursday, 02 December 2010. Posted in Opinion, Becky Akers

John PistolePoor, misunderstood John Pistole! Head cheese at the Transportation Security Administration (TSA), John is the pervert most responsible for the agency’s sexual violations of passengers at American airports. But he did it all for us, the big lug.

Like the rapist who insists his victim benefitted from his attentions despite her screams, John simply strives to protect us despite ours. “’What it came down to was I wanted to make sure people are not subjected to additional risk of planes being blown out of the sky,’ Pistole told USA TODAY's editorial board.”

So according to Pervert’s false dichotomy, either terrorists will “blow us out of the sky” or government’s goons will molest us. I’m a little fuzzy on why the latter is preferable to the former: any survivor of sexual assault can testify to the attack’s utter devastation. The despair goes so deep one longs to die: “Rape victims are 4.1 times more likely than non-crime victims to contemplate suicide,” says the National Center for Victims of Crime. “In fact, 13 percent of all rape victims actually attempt suicide, which confirms the devastating and potentially life threatening mental health impact of rape.”

That means Pervert and his gang could wind up slaughtering whole flocks of the very sheep they pretend to protect. An average of two million passengers fall into the TSA’s clutches each day; it gropes about 3 percent of those, or 60,000. If 13 percent of those 60,000 “attempt suicide,” we’re talking 7,800 potential deaths daily laid to the TSA’s account.

Of course, the agency and its few remaining apologists will scoff that its thugs aren’t raping passengers, for pity’s sake, they’re merely “patting them down” with “freedom fondles.” Nor do these apologists buy the feminist claptrap that sexual assault is never the victim’s fault: indeed, they rush to blame the innocent. “America truly is a nation of whiners [for objecting to the TSA’s onslaught],” rants one. “…Have Americans become such babies that a pat-down designed to prevent another 9/11 causes adults to melt down?”

Said “pat-down” not only “causes adults to melt down,” it makes pilots puke: “One US Airways pilot … experienced a frisking that has left him unable to function as a crewmember. The words this pilot used to describe the incident included ‘sexual molestation,’ and in the aftermath of trying to recover, this pilot reported that he had literally vomited in his own driveway while contemplating going back to work and facing the possibility of a similar encounter with the TSA.”

Far from being “babies” who “melt down” at the slightest stress, most pilots trained in the Air Force. Some may even be veterans of combat. Yet thanks to their unions’ efforts, these tough guys are now exempt from the TSA’s fondling.

God have mercy on the rest of us.
Meanwhile, Pervert and his enablers continue implying that sexual abuse is perfectly acceptable so long as the assailants advise passengers first. So the reason for the "’media frenzy’ leading up to the Thanksgiving holiday travel week” was not the attacks themselves; no, not at all. Rather, the problem was Pervert’s refusing to announce his intentions in advance: he “says he decided to launch controversial new airport pat-down searches without first warning travelers, against the advice of his public relations aides.” Apparently, in our brave, new police-state, rapists who talk things over with their victims first commit no offense.

There aren’t too many places government can go once it’s routinely strip-searching and molesting citizens — other than cavity searches. Rest assured the TSA currently considers this atrocity unlikely (though not impossible): “TSA has no plans to subject airline passengers to any additional body searches beyond what was put in place at all airports Nov. 1, Pistole said: ‘I think we are at the most thorough that we will probably be in terms of our physical screening.’" (Emphasis added.) Fascinating, isn’t it, the detached, calm response. No outrage that anyone would suggest so preposterous a crime (but then, groping 60,000 folks per day is just as preposterous, and Pervert’s obviously fine and dandy with that); rather, just a serene acknowledgement that we’ll probably escape this final indignity.

But Pervert’s passion — or lack thereof — doesn’t matter. The TSA lies about everything, all the time; it’s a safe bet Pervert’s prevaricating about this as well.

If so, never fear: Our gracious Rulers will undoubtedly grant us a few favors during our proctologic exams, just as they have while they molest us. “All passengers have important rights during a pat-down,” the TSA’s website warbles. “You have the right to request the pat-down be conducted in a private room and you have the right to have the pat-down witnessed by a person of your choice…” So what if the police-state rips the Fourth Amendment’s all-encompassing prohibition against search and seizure — and governmental assault — from us? In return, it bestows a couple of paltry but “important rights.” Look for those to include your choice of lubricant and a cushioned sawhorse when the Homeland’s security requires probing our orifices.

Trying to excuse his nationwide grope-fest, Pervert explained, "I was gravely concerned that we needed to do something with a sense of urgency and professionalism that did not signal to terrorists that we had a vulnerability."

I have no idea what he means, and I’ll wager Pervert doesn’t either. But somewhere under all that hot air lies freedom’s epitaph.

About the Author

Becky Akers

Becky Akers

Becky Akers is a free-lance writer and historian. Her novel, Halestorm, is set during the American Revolution and available in paperback or for Kindle.


Copyright © Becky Akers. Used with Permission.

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